Welcome to Jake’s Place

By Jake Stallman | May 1 2013 8:27PM

“Your son is a fag, and we are coming to kill him.”

Those were the words said to my mother about me the day after the local newspaper printed my mom’s story about her fight against bullying. My name is Jacob Stallman — Jake for short. I am 17 years old and in high school in a small town in Iowa. I came out to my mom in 7th grade.

It was a scary process. I didn’t know if she was going to hate me or love me the same. I was wrong because she ended up loving me more. Being gay is just a part of who I am. The night I received the death threat I just couldn’t understand how someone could hate another person so much that they would want to kill him. Ever since, I have been busy with interviews with radio stations and newspapers, and with my mom’s help, we got my story out there.

I know what it feels like to want to end your life. I have thought of killing myself three times. I know that hearing “it is going to get better” sucks; you want it to get better NOW! I was just like that. It is a slow process, but it’s like climbing a huge hill — once you get up to the top you have the best view ever. Climbing that hill and all that work only makes it more enjoyable. The same goes with it gets better. It makes your life better; it is a boost to keep you going.

My friend has recently convinced me to try out for cheerleading. I am now going to start weight lifting, and I am getting stronger. I am doing this because my school has no male cheerleaders. I am going to change that  — I hope!

My blog’s name is “Jake’s Place.” This is a place to feel safe. Send me an email, ask me a question, and I will answer them in my next blog entry. No one should ever feel alone. I am here to help. You are all amazing, and even if you don’t have any questions, shoot me an email at stallman (dot) jacob63 (at) gmail (dot) com and tell me your story. I am all ears.

Editor’s Note: If you are in crisis or considering suicide, please call the Trevor Project Lifeline. It offers free and confidential support 24/7 at 866-488-7386. TrevorChat offers IM help here. Matthew’s Place lists other resources here.


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Jacob’s Safe Place
Jake Stallman

Jacob Stallman is the youngest member of the Matthew’s Place blogging staff and writes about his personal experiences overcoming homophobia and bullying as well as providing peer advice to young people.

“My life well, it hasn’t been the most ‘smooth sailing.’ What can I say? I am a sophomore in high school and am the only openly gay student at my school. You can say that makes me an easy target.

I have been bullied because I was fat; In fifth grade I was that fat kid who ran his mile in the longest amount of time. Yes, I was THAT kid. My 7th grade year came and the school offered track, and I thought to myself “It can’t get any worse from here.” So I did track. It was amazing, and I got skinny. I was tall and as skinny as a pole. I have been bullied because I am gay; Freshmen year I got called out on Facebook for being a fag. Sophomore year I was called out on Twitter, and then I received the death threat.

I remember that night that I received the death threat. I was crying so much, and I just didn’t understand why someone could hate someone so much they wanted to kill them. The next morning, I was scared to step out of my house afraid that someone was out there waiting for me. The person was caught, but that person turned into people. But I overcame what happened to me, with the help of my mom and family who started an anti-bullying campaign.

So, I have had enough of people pushing me around, so what do I do? I’m start to lift weights, and I am going to try out for cheerleading.

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