Interview with Lauren Myracle

 Author Lauren Myracle was the subject of a flurry of media coverage in mid-October 2011 after she was nominated, apparently in error, for the National Book Award for her young-adult novel “Shine,” about a hate crime against a young gay man in North Carolina. She spoke to Matthew’s Place on October 21 about the mix-up and her creative way of turning it into a positive situation for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Matthew’s Place: We are here with Lauren Myracle, author of “Shine,” who has graciously agreed to talk with Matthew’s Place about her work and her interest in the Matthew Shepard Foundation. … So, tell us a little bit about the book “Shine,” and its genesis and — without giving away the ending, because of course we want people to purchase and read the book — a little bit about its storyline. Set us up a little bit.

Lauren Myracle: You’ve got it. So I’m a southern girl, and I grew up with this slightly schizophrenic upbringing where I bounced back and forth between Atlanta, Georgia, and a tiny mountain town called Brevard, North Carolina. My parents were divorced, and my two lives were very different because of socioeconomic reasons. And I’ve written a lot of novels for teens and tweens … but I’d never really tackled the North Carolina side of me. And it’s so strong and so important, and yet I hadn’t acknowledged it. And so one of the things I wanted to do in “Shine” is take that on. And I think that ties in with issues of identity as well — that sometimes there are parts of us we want to hide, and then there’s other times we say, “You know what? Nope. Done hiding that part.”
So “Shine” is set in a small, backwoods mountain town in North Carolina called Black Creek. And the story opens with a boy who’s 17 — his name is Patrick Truman — and he’s been found, bound and beaten and left for dead, at a gas station in the middle of the night, with the nozzle of the gasoline pump jammed into his mouth and duct taped closed. And on his bare chest it says, “Suck this, faggot.” And that’s a pretty awful thing. And so the story then goes from there.
Cat, the protagonist of the story, used to be Patrick’s dear, dear friend but due to her own messed up life, they’ve kind of fallen away from each other. But when she sees that the town isn’t doing much other than clucking their tongues and saying “Oh, it must have been some out-of-town frat [expletive]s,” she decides to take it upon herself and say, “Wait a minute, the ugliness might be closer than we think.” So the story is about Patrick — Patrick is an openly gay boy, in fact the only openly gay boy — and so the novel follows Cat as she tries to get to the bottom of what’s gone on here.

MP: So you have a mystery going on, which pulls the story along; you have setting, which sounds compelling and probably attention-getting or maybe quite novel to readers. But then there’s this very powerful social message about hate crimes. And we can talk a little bit about the Matthew Shepard connection a little further on. But did you have to study the sociology of hate crimes, history of hate crimes, what investigators know about them, how they’ve gone in communities — did you have to explore that, in order to try to figure out how to set the story up in that way?

LM: Yeah. I did a lot of research on a couple different things. One was, how do people handle hating themselves and hating others? And hatred is a secondary emotion, I think; it always springs from something else … usually fear, that’s probably what it is. So I looked a lot at that. Also, as an author, character has always been what I’m most interested in — much more so than plot or setting, although those are good things too. So for me it wasn’t so much about looking at hate crimes in general, but thinking, how did Patrick end up in this position? How did the people who put him in this position come to this ugly spot? And how did Cat, who’s a straight young woman, how does she look inside herself — I mean, this is a small town in the South, and … you know, the world is so big. And some people think, “Oh, everything’s fine — there are not harassment issues any more for gay kids.” And that is just not what my experience tells me. And so in this small town, it was fricking brave of Patrick to be openly gay and it was something that Cat had to come to terms with and be able to own, out loud … in terms of being a friend of Patrick’s as well. So yes, I looked into hate crimes, yes I looked into hate — I also looked into poverty, and rural Klan mentality, and meth. Meth is another part of the story.

MP: And in terms of your readership — I think it’s often difficult for authors to know exactly who’s reading their work, but did you feel you had a gay readership, or a gay-sensitive readership, or one that would be interested in this subject matter? Or did you have to sort of step out in that direction and find out if the readership would follow you there?

LM: You know, both. Whenever you write a book, you never know exactly where it’s going to land. The books that I’m known for by the majority of my readers are books that had to deal with …. finding your own identity, finding your tribe, figuring out how to lead a life that is authentic. But usually they do so in “pinker” tones and they deal with girls’ friendships. … And then oddly enough, on the other hand, I’ve always had this smaller contingent of gay boys who love my books, and I love that. That makes me so happy. And straight guys too, you know. But I definitely have a few fans who I’m in constant contact with who are like, “Oh yay, I can’t wait!” that have let me know that they are gay young men. The girls that are my more conventional readers, I do get emails from them saying, “OK, this is just wrong!” and then I’ll write back and say, “Have you finished the book?” And sometimes they respond and say, “Wow, I have completely changed my perspective on this issue. And thank you.” Or, I’ll get emails that say “My parents are gay, thank you so much.” Or, “My friend is dealing with this same thing.” Just recently I got a tweet that said, “I am a gay boy living in North Carolina. I didn’t know about ‘Shine’ until just recently. It may have saved my life. Thank you.” So you know, books have a funny way of going where they need to be.

MP: It’s really wonderful that you can get that feedback. How did you set out and decide that as a writer you wanted to communicate with this particular audience segment, the “teens and tweens” as you characterized them? Was that always a goal, or did you find that you were writing things that just reached that audience better? How did you get to that stage as an author?

LM: I love that question! It reminds me — my parents have learned not to ask any more. They used to say, “When are you going to write about grown-ups?” And I would be like, “Never! What are you talking about?!” (Laughter) Other people have suggested that I write about teens because I’m perpetually stuck in that stage of my own development. That could very well be true. I would throw out that teens and tweens are just absolutely fabulous and the most interesting people on the planet. And it is a time of high drama, and everything matters. And you’re figuring out who you are, and you haven’t yet become stagnant in your thinking. You haven’t solidified. And one thing that I find is that a lot of grown-ups tend to look back on their high school or middle school years and say, “Oh, thank God all that’s over.” And they just slam the door. And they don’t peek into that land any more. And they forget that teens and tweens are people, absolutely just as much as adults are. And their problems may play out on a smaller scale, but the things they go through are equally as valid as a CEO trying to figure out how to deal with a crisis at work. I just write for teens because I love ‘em.

MP: I love that answer. And I feel like [through] the evolution of MatthewsPlace.com over the last five years or so … we discovered … with this age group, folks who are 12, 13 up through the early 20s … it’s a time in your life when you want to stand on the rooftop and shout your story, and you’re very sensitive to hearing the stories and experiences of your peers to try to understand — are you alone? Has anyone else ever been through this? How do people deal with this? I think the rightly very popular “It Gets Better” project draws on this same theme, that people will just devour the stories of others to get a sense of where they are in the spectrum of things. … So we have featured some authentic first-person voices [on the site] … but ultimately, what you really want is the feedback from the audience, and it sounds like you’re able to get a lot of that from your readership. And I daresay if it’s anything like the notes we get here, it’s got to be extremely moving.

LM: Yeah. There’s so many interesting things you said that I want to comment on. First is, some people as you said do want to stand on the rooftop and scream out their story. Others are cowering in the corner, or sitting with a blank face in class, and not knowing how to tell their story. And books are such an empowering way to give voice to some of these kids who aren’t yet ready to tell their story. Or don’t know what their story is, or are trying to figure it out. So these accounts that you guys are compiling — that’s a beautiful thing too, because a kid can come to Matthew’s Place and have a safe place to figure out, “All right, here are some other perspectives, what can I do with this?” And in terms of getting feedback from some of my readers — it is an amazing thing. You know, this technology that we have, and the Internet and Twitter and Facebook — I get so many of those emails that talk about hard times that kids have gone through, how books have helped them, but also happy times. … I remember that I had one young woman write me last year, and say that because of an earlier book I’d written, called “Kissing Kate,” which is about a young woman trying to figure out her sexuality, she said that she got up the courage to talk to her parents, and that her parents were so supportive. Yes, they were confused, but their answer was, “Sweetie, we love you, we love you — that’s the end of the story.”

MP: So, you live now in Fort Collins. How long have you been up in northern Colorado?

LM: I’ve been here for a long time! Let’s see — if this is 2011 …

MP: I heard somewhere that it is.

LM: Yeah, is it? OK. (Laughter) … I think I’ve been here about 15 years but my math is really crappy. Anyway. So I consider myself both a southern girl, forever and ever, Amen — and a Christian girl, forever and ever, Amen, which some people don’t think goes along with supporting gay rights and tolerance, and I am here to tell them they are as wrong as wrong can be. My minister is gay and she is awesome, and I love her so much. But anyway, that’s getting off topic. But I’ve lived in Fort Collins for long enough to love this community. And yeah, this is where Matthew [Shepard] was brought after he was found by the passing bicyclist after he was attacked in Laramie — the hospital here in town.

MP: So you’re, at this point in fall of 1998, almost exactly 13 years ago, a fairly new resident in town, been there a few years, and this national media coverage of Matt’s condition in the hospital and the constant updates and his family coming into town to be with him, occurs. And how does that all affect you as a young, new-ish resident to Fort Collins, and all the issues surrounding that? Take us through that experience a little bit.

LM: Well, it’s making me tear up hearing you even just say that — that it would happen whether I lived in Cleveland, or Atlanta, or anywhere. I mean, it was just such a horrifically awful, wrong thing to happen. And I just still see those pictures of Matt that people were making into posters and holding up — you know, that sweet boy, and that face. And in town, it was a mix. I love my city, but we have different populations as well. I remember candlelight vigils. I remember huge outpourings of support. I also remember that homecoming for Colorado State University was right around the corner. And some … frat boys, they made a float, that had an effigy of a very scarecrow-like [image of Matt] — oh, it was awful. I just don’t even want to think about it. And they got banned. But mainly, I just thought to myself, as I always do, “Come on, people. We are better than this. This is wrong and it should not happen.” And yet it does. It’s just heartbreaking.

MP: And that story stayed with you over time, clearly. You’ve done some other interviews in the last week and mentioned that you were thinking of Matt throughout the whole experience of writing this story of another small-town, rural hate crime against a young gay man. I hate to ask the simple question, “Was that hard for you?” I assume it was hard for you, but —

LM: No, I think it’s a very valid question, and actually nobody’s ever asked that before. What’s hard for me is realizing that what happened to Matt and what happened to his parents and what happened to everyone who loved him, that is on a deeper level of pain than I, than any bystander, will ever experience. And I, as a writer, am very aware of never wanting to exploit somebody’s pain. And I sure try my best to be aware of that. And yet at the same time as a writer, because I’ve been lucky enough to find a job that I love and I found an audience, have an opportunity to say, “Hey, people, let me tell a story to you and let’s see how that affects you and enters into your heart.” This is not Matthew’s story. “Shine” is not about Matt. Was it hard to write? Yeah, because I fell in love with Patrick, just like I fell in love with Matt when I was reading about him and learning as much as I could about him. And I love all of the characters in my books, even the broken ones. And by that I mean the ones who are not in a place where they’re doing good things in their life. So it’s a painful thing. Another motivating force for me — I don’t know why, I don’t know if it’s genetic, or as a result of growing up the way I did — but the underdog story has always been one that has resonated deeply with me. I think all of us are underdogs beneath the veneer of our shiny exteriors. And I always want to try my best to say, look, let’s pull back the curtain and show that the Great Wizard of Oz is just this funny little confused man, and to not be afraid of things. We’ve all got stuff we’re going through, and nobody’s life is this perfect, pretty plastic that it looks like it might be on the outside.

MP: And in so many ways, I think, all stories are about everyone if they’re good stories. The truly great stories out there have an entry point for almost anybody who might pick them up. And there is such a population of people who have either been victimized by hate crimes, or their community has been touched by one, or they felt they were threatened with violence that maybe they were fortunate enough to escape from, or somebody they care about was. It’s so easy I think, [for] people who are looking for shorthand ways [in the media] to describe what you wrote about in this book and — “It’s about a hate crime” — you know, it’s thought that maybe that sort of summarizes it. But that’s like saying Moby Dick is about fishing or something. (Laughter) There’s a lot more to it than that, and to the subject than that.

LM: I would say, another way of paraphrasing it is, sure it’s a book about a hate crime; it’s also a book, and ultimately it’s more a book, of shining. The beginning of the book starts with the quote from [the Book of] Matthew from the Bible — let your light shine; that we all have that inside of us. That’s Patrick’s struggle. That’s Cat’s struggle. That’s everyone’s struggle — to not go along with the herd; to not be afraid to stand up to injustice and to come out on the other side shining. Like you said — don’t give away the ending! — and there’s sadness throughout — but it’s a story that’s meant to be, not, “let me take you to a hellish place and let you sit there and suffer,” but, “let’s look at some of this without blinders on and see what we can do with it to grow.”

MP: Well said. So, I suppose we’d be remiss if we didn’t cover the fact (laughter) that this book has a relationship to this organization that was probably unfathomable to all of us two weeks ago, say. You were named as a finalist for the National Book Award for the Young Adult category, and then you were told there was also another very similar-sounding book that was also, “surprise,” nominated for a sixth slot in what’s usually a five-book competition. And then they said, “OK, that’s a mistake, you weren’t supposed to be nominated, would you be so kind as to withdraw?” And then you took a different approach there at that point that brought [the Matthew Shepard Foundation] into the story, and might be one of the most gracious, thoughtful things that I’ve seen anybody do in an awfully long time in this country. Do you want to tell us a little bit about how the story got resolved, and how we came to be having this conversation today?

LM: Yes. But first I’d like to say thanks, because that was a really nice thing to say. And without trying to be overly humble, either … I also think … it was a very logical and reasonable thing to do. But you’re right, it did have a happy ending. I laughed when you brought this up, because it’s been two weeks and I’ve come around to laughing. And I am not a subscriber to the belief that everything happens for a reason; I think that’s a little bit too facile. But I do subscribe to the belief that, what does happen, we get to choose how we then move on from that. And so as an author I had a pretty emotionally wrenching experience. Because I was told one day that “we,” this great entity of the National Book Foundation, “think you’re worthy.” And it feels good to get affirmation; it feels good to get validation. It does, you know. And then told, “whoops, sorry, wrong person.” And I felt this shame. Shame is an emotion that is rarely productive, and I know that it’s an emotion that a lot of gay and questioning teens have to deal with every day. Because I thought, “Lauren, how could’ve you been so dumb to believe them? Who are you to think you’re worthy?” And then I got over that. Because that’s my teenage voice speaking up. That’s my scared-in-the-corner voice speaking up. So once this all got resolved and it became clear that I wasn’t supposed to be on the list, they had made a mistake, that they were very sorry, they said, “We’d love for you to come to the party anyway.” And I said, umm, “No thanks, I don’t want to be that one — yay! I’m the one who wasn’t nominated! Hello everybody!” (Laughter)
But I said, you know what, how about this — instead of that, how about making a donation in honor of Matthew Shepard, since the book deals with issues of tolerance and issues of gay kids trying to figure out where their place in the world is. And the reason I did that is because, one of the things my editor and I were most excited about … was that we thought it was a novel that said, here is a voice for gay and questioning teens, and for teens who just don’t know what they think about it and have been told by their parents what to think, but maybe they really don’t think that. And so when the National Book Foundation said, yeah, this is a really important book and it’s going to get attention, we thought, yeah, these are important issues, and they’re going to get attention. Awesome. So when that became an opportunity that wasn’t going to happen, being able to openly acknowledge the Matthew Shepard Foundation seemed like a really great way to – you know, make lemonade.

MP: Right. And then they showed up at my office with this lemonade, and I was like, wow, you know — thank you!

LM: “I’ll drink it — yay!” (Laughter)

MP: I was a little thirsty. (Laughter) We were so humbled by it, because the whole core of this organization of course is about something terrible happening, and people being so darned … stubborn that they will not let an opportunity to try to make a difference go by without attempting it. And that’s of course Judy and Dennis [Shepard]’s whole motivation in doing this. And the world stood up and demanded that there be something like a Matthew Shepard Foundation, because they sent all these memorial contributions to the memorial fund … [the Shepards] really felt that … it should go into awareness work and trying to recruit more allies and standing up for LGBT rights and going into schools and companies and communities, and trying to … make people open their eyes to the problem and get involved in the solution.

LM: And, maybe from being from Fort Collins, maybe not, Judy and Dennis’s grace in all of this has been something that has embedded itself in my heart. And I’m a mom, I have three kids. And maybe it does bear repeating — that kind of heartbreak, it can either knock you flat — and it does, regardless — but some people get up and some people don’t. And Judy and Dennis did get back up to their feet, and they have my forever admiration.

MP: Well, we were really honored by the support and, frankly, just the sheer media attention that you arranging this donation for us has made possible — and we’ve seen emails from other people making online contributions, $25, $35, saying “This is in support of Lauren Myracle’s gesture.”

LM: Oh, that makes me so happy!

MP: I think people saw exactly what you did and wanted to be a part of it, and that’s the whole spirit of this organization, in the end. It’s a tremendous honor to us, and it’s very humbling. It puts a burden of trust on us to make sure that we put this to absolutely the best use we possibly can, so as to keep faith with all the spirit of generosity that brought it here.

LM: I know you will, I have no doubt about that.

MP: It’s the kind of problem you want to have in this business, when you have extra resources you weren’t counting on, to be able to do something special with. So thank you. And in terms of good things coming back to you — I went to [a local bookstore] … and they were sold out of this book! There must have been a truly unprecedented amount of attention for your book, and demand for it, very suddenly as a result of all this attention?

LM: Maybe so. I have to be careful — one of the things that the [award situation] reminded me of is I do not write, and I cannot write, for external validation. And sales fall into that as well. So I never ask an editor questions about sales. I am thrilled that the book is reaching more readers, and that is what I want to focus on.

MP: We always try to end these, especially when we’re talking to a creative personality — is there anything you’re working on now? There’s a paperback coming out in the spring, I’m told — any other interesting projects coming up, or thinking about new projects?

LM: Yes — always, always, always. That’s the joy of it. Right now I’m finishing up the third book in a series of books called The Flower Power Books. It’s a funny one, too, because they’ve gotten their own share of bizarre attention. It’s about fifth graders, and one of the fifth graders named Milla has two moms. And the two moms are just part of her life, just like Milla has blond hair and blue eyes and doesn’t have any pets. And yet some grown-ups really freak out about the fact that a book for children had gay moms. I’m like, “Get over yourselves.” And so the third Flower Power book called “Oopsy Daisy” is coming out in January. So that’s what I’m involved in right now. Thanks for asking!

MP: Absolutely. Well, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us, and taking so much time to really explore some of these issues that young folks are facing surrounding diversity. It sounds like that’s you’ve explored that issue from many angles over the years. So if folks like this book, it sounds like they’ll like much of what you’ve written over the years and much of what’s forthcoming.

LM: Well, thank you. But also I have to tell you, I too have enjoyed all of the public support, but I really appreciate you talking to me, because whereas most people have wanted to say, “Oh my God, let’s talk about the whole NBA debacle,” this is the first chance I’ve gotten to say, “Yeah, here’s why I wrote this book, here’s why I care.” So thank you.

MP: You are more than welcome. It seemed an awful lot more important in the scheme of things than a clerical error at another organization — that was happenstance.

LM: That’s what I come away with. This overlap that’s happened — to be able to draw attention to the Matthew Shepard Foundation, to be able to give money to the Matthew Shepard Foundation — that is the one good, unsullied thing that’s come from this. There’s nothing negative about that at all, and that is something to rejoice in.

MP: Well, thank you so much. We appreciate it.

LM: I’m sure our paths will cross.

MP: I look forward to it.