Interview with Gabrielle Christian

The Importance of Allies

By Meg Dukes, Editor, “Meg in the City”

As members of the LGBT community, we are constantly reminded, by our heterosexual peers, what makes us different. We don’t fit into many of the accepted social norms; we bend and often break the concepts of gender and sexual identity and expression; we challenge the traditional roles that have been handed down from father to son and mother to daughter for centuries. All of these differences are often magnified when we are LGBT high-school students, an environment never seen again after graduation. Yet Gabrielle Christian reminded me that many of the experiences we see as unique or isolated to LGBT young people is not the case. Christian is most widely known throughout the LGBT community as portraying Spencer on South of Nowhere, a groundbreaking television show on The N, which ran from 2005 to 2008.

When asked about a scene in the show in which Spencer’s mom Paula (portrayed by Maeve Quinlan) catches her and her girlfriend Ashley (portrayed by Mandy Musgrave) in an intimate moment, and proceeds to drag Ashley out of the house by her hair — a scene that even now, thinking about, sends chills up my spine. Christian reminded me that this physical act of being caught and having your partner thrown out of the house isn’t as isolated as we would think. A person doesn’t have to be a member of the LGBT community to understand the basic emotions. When I look back on my own coming out, those who were always there for me, no matter what, were my straight friends. They have become more than my straight friends; they have become my allies.

We don’t have to sulk through life, isolated and afraid, convinced that no one understands what we are going through. Yes, each person is unique and so are their experiences. But maybe, with a little effort and courage, we will find someone who understands the bigger picture.

[This interview took place in July 2010]

MP: Have you ever been picked on or bullied for something that makes you different?

Gabrielle Christian: Yeah, I have. I grew up, actually, with a Hungarian father and he’s very traditional man. He spoke the language at home and we had to go to Hungarian scouts growing up which was always like a big dorky thing to my friends. It was like the Girl Scouts, but it was Hungarian and it was very cultural.

MP: Kind of like in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” where they send (the main character) to Greek school?

GC: [Laughs] Yeah, and at the time, as a kid, you think it is the most embarrassing thing. But now when I look back on my life, that was one of the most special things I ever did.  It’s interesting how that works out in life.

MP: How do you think this experience has helped shape you into the person you are today?

GC: Well, I think as an adult it’s made me realize and appreciate that I did have something that was unique and authentic about myself that was different from my friends. Being able to speak a second language and be in touch with a culture of a very small country that a lot of people don’t even know exists on the map. It has definitely taught me how to appreciate how being different has made me a better person.

MP: What drew you to the role of Spencer [in “South of Nowhere”]?

GC: Spencer was defiantly a surprise for me when I first read the breakdown — when your agent sends you an audition and you get to kind of read a character description, a storyline of the script. And I was just really blown away with how mature this character was. I had been auditioning for all this, I don’t want to say “crap,” but a lot of basic teenage, poppy, fun, bitchy, cheerleader girl stuff. And Spencer was just different. She wasn’t from L.A.; she came from a really educated family and had really strong beliefs about things. I was just really impressed with her. I was excited to go on that audition.

MP: How did your agency feel about you going on the audition?

GC: It’s funny because they’re encouraging of pretty much any role and any way we can make money for them. But I think they we also kind of skeptical and they were scared, like, “Okay, you know, this is a 15-year-old coming out of the closet, you don’t know what kind of press you’re going to be getting, how people are going to perceive this.” Because it was on a cable network, they weren’t sure how risqué it would be, how physical and sensationalized. So at first they were a little bit worried. But when I said I really wanted to go on the audition, they said, “Okay, yeah, let’s go for it and see what happens.” The further along I got in the process, when we were finally able to read the pilot and see that it was on The N Network and it was going to be displayed in an innocent light and more about the emotional journey of this character — that was a weight off their shoulders. Because you’re not sure if its going to be a lot of sex. For such a young character and the age I was playing, that was something they were concerned about. And I was too, ’cause you never know.

MP: How has portraying Spencer given you a unique understanding of what it means to be a straight ally?

GC: I think mainly just an open mind to the fact that just because one person has one sexual preference over another, it doesn’t make them any different of a person, it’s just how they mentally and physically feel for the same sex. I’m sorry I’m not sure if I understand the question.

MP: Spencer is openly out and there was the episode where Spencer’s mom catches her and Ashley and drags Ashley out of the house, and not a lot have been in that position and have understood the emotional journey of being caught with someone you’re not supposed to be with and them getting thrown out of the house and that whole emotional journey Spencer went through.

GC: Yes, yes. Through that process it did make me feel a lot of sympathy and knowing what it’s like to be straight and to be caught with a boy — it’s never easy. But to really go against your parents’ moral belief systems and how harsh, Spencer’s mom in particular, was toward her sexuality and how it was kinda this really dark unsaid thing where they weren’t communicating and there was so much unsaid hatred — that is something that could be a little bit different than just the normal teenager who is having boy or girl problems, if your parents just really can’t accept you for being any different.

MP: With greater numbers of young people standing up and coming out as allies, do you see your voice gaining more prominence as an ally and speaking up for those who feel they do not have a voice of their own?

GC: I certainly hope so. It’s a shame that the show was cancelled, because I know when the show was on air I would get a lot of fan mail from people my age, younger and even 20, 30 years older than me, saying how much the show had helped them in their coming out process — how they were kind of able to get a better idea, and the strength to approach their parents, but also for the people that were adults in their fifties or sixties who said they wished they had had a show or a character like Spencer when they were coming out 20, 30 years ago. Just ’cause it gave them that sense of connection and knowing that they’re not alone. When you watch a show it’s just easier to personalize that instead of having a discussion with someone or actually say something. I think physically seeing it on your alone time can help in so many different ways.

MP: Did you ever get any letters about someone bringing a parent to watch the show and sit down and maybe use that as a conversation piece?

GC: Yes, I’ve actually had a few of those and some of them have been more on the positive side and some of them have still, unfortunately, said that no matter what or how I explain this to my parents, they still wont come around. Maybe those people are still trying to figure out a way. There seemed to be a few success stories too, which was nice. The Paula character, my mom, was very relatable in the way that Maeve (Quinlan) is such a great actress and the character is such a normal everyday person and with her religious beliefs and how seriously she takes her job, a lot of general middle class America seems to resonate with that.

MP: During my research I came across an interview in which you discussed how excited you were to audition for Spencer and were expecting a large pool of actresses, then were shocked to discover that the content of the show had scared away a large number of them. What thoughts do you have for allied young people who do not feel empowered to stand up for a peer who is being bullied due to their actual or perceived sexual orientation because they are afraid they may be labeled as gay?

GC: I can definitely understand that fear, because as humans we have those feelings of insecurity and guilt and, especially as kids, we can be so harsh to one another and say things we don’t mean. Just because socially it may not be acceptable. But it’s a pity, because as we grow up, especially in our college years and 20’s where we finally start thinking outside of the bubble and start thinking for ourselves and growing up, we realize that those times we didn’t stand up for people when they were being bullied, for any reason — I feel like we all feel guilty at some point in our life. And if we don’t, it’s especially hard for kids. They feel like there is so much more at stake and if they don’t impress their little bubble of social friends then it’s the end of the world. I get it — it’s just very unfortunate.

MP: Do you have any projects you’re currently working on?

GC: Yes, I am shooting; well we just actually wrapped “Girltrash!” It was created by Angela Robinson, who was on “The L Word” for many years as an executive producer, and [who] just finished the second season of “Hung” on Showtime. We did a web series in 2007 that just got the funding to do this little indie film — it’s actually very similar to my character in “South of Nowhere.” The girl, Colby, who I play, is actually coming out of the closet, but as an older adult. She’s a 21-year-old college student and she’s always kind of questioned her sexuality, but has only dated boys her whole life. At 21 she meets this girl and she realizes that she may have not been true to herself all along. It’s different though, it’s a pop-rock musical movie, it’s a comedy, it’s really upbeat and funny. We work with girls from “The L Word” and from “South of Nowhere” and some of Angela’s other actresses that she’s worked with in the past. But it should be good.

MP: Sounds like it will.

GC: Yeah, they’re hoping to go to Sundance in February 2011 so we’ve got to keep our fingers crossed for that!