Interview with Michael Bublé

By: Thomas Howard, Jr. Programs Director
November 12, 2010

T: Hi Michael how are you?

M: I’m good, how are you Thomas?

T: I am good.  Just to give you a little bit of background.  The Matthew Shepard Foundation was founded 1998 after Matthew Shepard, a gay college student in Wyoming, was tied to a fence and beaten to death.

M: I know all about it.

T: Ok.  We have a great site for young people, MathewsPlace.com, that’s designed to help young people gain the skills and tools to lead healthy, productive, hate free lives.  So we like to have conversations with people who are allies, and supportive folks so that young people can see themselves reflected and supported.  I was in your publicist’s office, and she said you were interested in having conversations about these issues, particularly  bullying.

M: Ya, I’m the one who in fact…I called her and asked a few weeks ago because, it was sickening to me.

T: Was there a time in your life when you were picked on or marginalized for something that made you different?

M:  You know, I think everybody gets bullied Thomas.  Every single person has times in their lives where they feel bullied or pressured or things like that.  But, you know, for me I handled it differently.  I fought my way out.  I fought with my fists and I had friends that supported me through that.  But to be honest with you, it’s a terrible thing to be bullied in any way.  There were days when I didn’t want to go to school, but in no way can I really compare the bullying I went through with the prejudice that gay and lesbian kids are going through.  It’s just not the same thing.

T: Would you consider yourself an advocate for equality?

M: Absolutely.  I was lucky Thomas.  I grew up in a family that was full of love.  My uncle Mike has been with my uncle Frank, they’ve been a couple for, 35 years.  So when I grew up my mom and dad, in no uncertain terms, said you know Michael, a man can be in love with a man and a woman can be in love with a woman, and there’s no difference between people that are gay or straight   They’re born that way.  It’s not something that can be learned or unlearned, or it’s not a phase or anything like that.  This is something that you are born with.  And so I grew up, never seeing a difference between gay and straight people.  Also, I grew up in Vancouver, that has one of the biggest gay communities, so of course, growing up in music and theatre all my friends, or most of my friends were gay or bi.  This was something that was just normal for me.  The thing is, what really got to me Thomas, was that, I lived in this bubble, where because I came from this city that was completely tolerant and understanding,  I thought that’s just how it was.  And I moved to L.A. and it was the same way.  People were very open about it and proud.  But I started to realize that it wasn’t like that man.  In a lot of places, a lot of small cities and towns, people did not have that same understanding.  And I felt like it wasn’t just the job or the responsibility of gay or lesbian people to stand up for each other.  It’s a responsibility of straight people.  It’s a responsibility of all of us, we’re human beings, we’re all the same.  There’s just no room for this man.  I think it’s gotta start in the home.  It’s gotta start with parents talking to their kids and explaining to them that it’s ok, and that they can stand up for their friends, and that there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  That that’s life, you know.  The truth is, Thomas, kids don’t grow up with hate.  They don’t know hate.  They’re taught hate and we just need to educate them.

T: I so admire and think your point that sometimes we grow up in a world and we don’t take the time to, or think that we need to acknowledge that the community that I’m growing up in isn’t necessarily the way whole world is, and we sort of have to go out and educate ourselves.  I’ve spoken to thousands of high school kids and I always ask them how often they witness an incident of hate on their campus.  I do not exaggerate when I tell you that 99% of the teenagers I asked that to said they witnessed something on an hourly basis.

M: Absolutely.  You can imagine the pressure for someone who hasn’t come out, or who has.

T: What responsibility do you feel that people who have a position of authority or social capital or people who are in the media have to use that voice for positive social change.

M: Well, you know Thomas, we need to. We need to make sure that we tell these kids, these people, that there are people that love them.  There are people that care about them, and that we’ve gotta learn to be brave, you know, and stand up.  At that campus, in that moment, you’ve gotta stand up for what you know is right, because we inherently know the difference between it being right and it being wrong.  And you know what, we’ve gotta be brave and we’ve gotta be strong for those people who aren’t, so that they know there are people there for them.  And its so f****g important for us to get a backbone, ya know.  But again, I think that goes back to, if your mom and dad, if they tell you this growing up.  If they teach you the right way and they teach you that hate has no place in that.  We’ll grow up and we’ll know that, kids will have a sense of that, and they will stand up, and you’ll see less and less of this happening.  Listen, you know what’s sad, is that I just talked to you about growing up in Vancouver and it being such a gay friendly place.  Well, a friend of mine just told me that a man was beaten.  A gay man was beaten, not to death, but he’s in a coma, and it was gay bashing.  So here it’s happening in a place where I think they’re so tolerant.  It’s inexcusable, it makes me feel sick.

T: Something that I am confronted by a lot, particularly I talk to young straight men in high school, and the reality and what they tell me is the reason I don’t stand up for, particularly the LGBT kids being bullied is because…

M: They’ll think I’m gay

T: Yes. Is because I don’t want them to think I’m one of them.  And in your career, as with most men in the public eye, there has been rumors and people have talked…so I guess I wonder how did you reach a place where what other people said about you didn’t matter.  Does that make sense?

M: Yeah, but the truth is with me, honest to god, I’ve said it on stage a million times.  I make a joke where I say, I tell the audience that I’m getting engaged, which is the truth I’m getting married.  And I say, yeah look at that half the people boo me, and all the men are looking at their wives saying, “O come on Michael Bublé is so gay.”  Then I say to them, you know what, if it was true, I would be so proud of it I’d tell the whole world.  Now you can go and find any tape, anything and you can see I say it.  The truth is, man, if I was I would be proud.  That’s the truth.  Not to say that if you want to stay in the closet, that’s your prerogative.  If you’re not comfortable with that, that’s fine for you.  But honestly I would be.  I would be comfortable.  And so when people have said to me, you know, are you gay?  Its strange but I don’t feel very defensive about it, they can think what they want to think.

T: I admire you for that position so much because I think at least those of us in the movement…I’ve spent the last 3 days at a national conference with organization to doing safe schools work…and I think we all want to get to a place where someone looks at you and says something like that and you’re like, ok, why does that matter to me?  You know what I mean?

M: Yeah, but it shouldn’t matter.  What’s the difference between gay and straight?  That’s I think the question that I keep…I mean for me I keep…this is a troubling question.  What is the difference?  Why does it make me a different human being that I am gay or straight?  What does that change?  It changes nothing.

T: And how does it affect your life?  Do you know what I mean?  How does my sexual orientation directly affect your life?  It doesn’t.

M: No (laughs).  No, actually the only way it affects my life is that I have more fun going out with my gay friends than I do hanging out with my straight friends half the time.

T: What would you tell the young person in their high school who doesn’t think there’s anyone else like them, or doesn’t think anyone else cares about them?  What would you like them to know from you?

M: I would like them to know that I care, and I love them, and that I’m not the only one.  That I would say that 99% of the people out there love them too, and care about them, and are passionate about their struggle.  I’d like to hope that most human beings do give a damn.  And I think that the more that people like me, and you, and all of us talk about this openly, and turn this into the norm, than it’s gonna be ok.  You know, here’s the thing I would tell them:  I would say find the people in your life that will give you the support.  Find them and seek them out, because you know what?  They are everywhere.  And if they’re people that are bullying them, just try to get away and find the people that will support you, because I promise you there is support out there.  There are people that love you.  Talk to your family.  Talk to your teachers.  Talk to people that can help you, because we all want to help.  It’s a wonderful thing, by the way anyone, when you say, “I need help.”  Most people, there’s good in people, they want to help you.  And again, mostly moms, dads, parents out there, talk to your kids.  Talk to them from a young age and teach them that there’s no room for that kind of prejudice and hate.  It’s really weird man.  Before all of this kind of, all these people, these stars started putting up videos and stuff, I was taking a flight back and I watched this movie called “Milk.”  Yeah, and I promise you man, I was so moved by it and it bothered me so so badly, the injustice, that I called Liz about 4 days later; and as I was watching the film, and as I’m sitting there, you know you’re crying, and you feel helpless like everyone else feels.  I thought to myself, you know what Bublè, it’s time to stand up man.  It’s time to make this a priority in your life, one of the priorities.  And it’s not just about talking to friends in private or at dinner about it, it’s about actually using what I have to send a message of support.  And I’m so glad I did man.

T: And I have to say, and I don’t say this lightly, that your voice has saved lives.  Whether or not we acknowledge the power of our individual voices, they save lives.  And that’s what it’s about, I think.

M: Absolutely.  It’s funny because I don’t know Perez Hilton very well, ok.  I don’t know the man, much.  And I started to see on his website, my fiancé started to show me, all of these sort of support things that he was doing to stop the bullying and these messages.  And my fiancé feels the same way I do, most of her friends, because she’s in the same business are members of the gay and lesbian community.  I ended up sending him a letter through my publicist, and just telling him that I was thankful and I was proud of what he was doing and that he was helping celebrities to get their voices out there.

T: I think he’s had a shift in his power, and I think that he’s gone in a different direction; and I think that that’s when you see some positive things come out of things that aren’t so positive.  You know what I mean?

M: I agree.  You know what, that just shows you that all of us are learning.  You know, it’s a process.

T: Well, I have to say thank you so much for sharing some time and I would love to keep you updated on what we’re doing and maybe involve you in whatever your time, and schedule, and comfort level is.

M: You know what, honestly, whatever you guys need, you tell me.  If its tickets, or me saying hello, or me doing whatever you guys need I’m happy to do it.

T: Well and maybe that’s what we look next time you’re in Denver.  We look at how we can partner on some things when you’re in town.  I will keep you updated.

M: Thank you, take care Thomas.

T: Thanks Michael, bye.

M: Bye.